What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

What's funnier than 24? My life.

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

http://richardfigures.com/

knock knock no ones home

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

This statement is false.

How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

Why do people go on this site? They have no friends and no lives.

Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

destiny

Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

What's clear and wet? water

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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