What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

96 there mad at each other instead its 69

What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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