Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

Xbox One

What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

This one time at band camp music was played.

what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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