Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Abortion

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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anti jokes are gay...your all gay

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And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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