While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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lewis ya baggy fuck

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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Im batman...suck it losers

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Send "What Makes You Beautiful" Ringtone to your CellShowHideSong Notes - Go behind the words! You're insecure, don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or Don't need make-up - to cover up Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed the way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! If only you saw what I could see you'd understand why I want you so desperatley Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! Read more: ONE DIRECTION - WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-makes-you-beautiful-lyrics-one-direction.html#ixzz1sJdk3KHD Copied from MetroLyrics.com

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Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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