A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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all hail based mark

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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Pain Olympics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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