How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? On a fundamental level, it was pursuing evolutionary instincts, perhaps a half-bored interest in food.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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