Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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What time is it? 20:45.

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Caca.

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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What's the deal with brown?

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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