Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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