"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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What's the deal with brown?

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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