How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

Knock Knock Come in!

A baby seal walks into a club...

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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