what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

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the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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