Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your Mom!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

modern love

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

gabbi nunez ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops