What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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no

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its all aodhan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

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A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

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When I get aroused I get a solid snake

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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