What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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PSP... Is a cat... you can throw against the wall.

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Roses are red Violets are blue life is a bitch and so are you

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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TRENT EGENLAUF IS a LITTLE BOY

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Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get mowed down by a tractor

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What happened to the orphan when it walked to the park? He found his birth parents........but then they were killed by a crazy hobo and he was taken away and molested

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the black man approach a small white girl in the alley? He was knew in town and needed directions

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

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Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

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men

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops