two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Jew walks into Macy's

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops