What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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My friend harris is fat.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Knock knock Come in

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Why don't mummies take vacations? They're dead.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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Vagina cream... end of story

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

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The jets are a good team..

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops