My friend harris is fat.

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

Why don't mummies take vacations? They're dead.

People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

Vagina cream... end of story

Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

The jets are a good team..

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

How do you make a car? You build it.

Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

I have a gay camel

theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...