How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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if you read this you are gay

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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