Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

170

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

LIKE THIS!

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

So a man is shopping on black Friday...

Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...