Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Sonic

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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