Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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