What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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69

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops