Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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"Knock knock." "No."

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

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Why won't the carny let the black kid on the carnival ride? He doesn't meet the height requirements

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops