Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down

A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

thumb_up thumb_down

what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down

'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down

banana

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down

What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

thumb_up thumb_down

If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down

Women's Rights Movement

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops