What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Harry Chappell raped someone

thumb_up thumb_down +15

2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

4

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why is my phone broken i dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call A potato who is covered in red refrigerators and is known as a potato. Fallafal

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops