A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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kesha is a virgin.

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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