How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

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"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

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Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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