how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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TELL

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

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A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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