i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

What's long and black? A line at KFC.

What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

oooh look a banshee

The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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