roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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a jew, a latino and an aboriginal walk into a bar this is an example of a great inter-racial comunity

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

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What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Dave. -Dave who? -Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

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Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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