how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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why was the boy crying. Brcause him and his two sisters got raped by a diseased polar bear. by rangler. thumbs up for more.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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balls

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops