whats black and white? a zebra

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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"33"

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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