Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -44

knock knock who's there me i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Roses are red violits are blue I have ADHD do you like cats?

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

thumb_up thumb_down +59

An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

poop nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops