I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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Why did the little girl not speak? It was Anne Frank

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What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Why was the gay guy sad?

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What's worse than bad words? People who say them

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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I like your hair

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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