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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

This is Heading 1

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

Penis

A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

I <3 Hitler

what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.