What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? i don't know, ask 6

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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L's I's that took Viagra.

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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do you currently smoke? i hope not.

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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