why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue At least that's what I've been told But honestly I've never seen those flowers so I wouldn't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is white black and Chinese A panda

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man cross the street? Because no cars were coming and he wanted to get to the othher side

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a Black man with AIDS? Unfortunate.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops