What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

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bacon

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

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Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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