why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Justin Bieber

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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Two Irish men walks out of a bar

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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