Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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"Free to play" Play free "right now"

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

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Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Z.

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops