A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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