What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

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42

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

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Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

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Whats white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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Illumati Confirmed

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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