Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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Obamacare

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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Wat do u call black circus clwon a bad comedian

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

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Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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CORRECTION TO THE COMMENT BELOW! Its a WIN/WIN/WIN/WINWINWINWINWINWIN (WIN For at least 30 more minutes)/CUUUUM!/"SORE ASS WHINING CHILD Gonna grow into a slut SITUATION!" friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man The Anti-Christ: Do not thumb me down unless you want to feel the big burning hot spear of darkness, and you do not... You better don`t be or become a sore ass kid you allshole if you know what I am saying... Yeah! Thats right! You better fear me! Because the angrier you look... The more offended you become... The better you are starting to look...

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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If a prisoner got one visitor who would he ask to see An Eskimo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops