Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What are jews without the holocaust? Alive

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the captcha say to the homo sapien? frTrewQui NiolismTU

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down

A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

thumb_up thumb_down

well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

thumb_up thumb_down

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down

I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down

what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

thumb_up thumb_down

wanna no wats not funny........ aids

thumb_up thumb_down

9

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops