Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

How to confuse a dumbass: see previous post.

what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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