what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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Yo Momma so old, that she has arthritis.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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Knock knock --Come in.

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What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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A seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops