What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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"33"

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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The Barackness Monster

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops