EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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Gay Rights

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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a horse nibbled a baby

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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