Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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What's green, and looks like money? Money...

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

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One below was by me: Walter H

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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