What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

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Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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that feels sooooo good. -is what jacob says when his dogs hump his legs

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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