If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

what does a granny look best in? 1950

Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was tired of working for the man.

9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

a man walks into a bar he has a drinking problem and we are all consered

What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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