Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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how do u kill a black kid ..... stabb him in the face with a nife

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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Why did Colussi miss 2 years of school? -Because he died

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What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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A man buys a prius

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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