When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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You have friends

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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42, that is all

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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